I sometimes wonder: what the heck am I trying to do with my writing? Like now. I’m wondering it, now, because I did a Kindle Countdown Deal for my novella THE INN, which has been my best earner (and by that I mean it’s probably made $50.00 since it’s been published). Wanna know how many books were purchased while the novella was marked down to first $0.99 for two days, then to $1.99 for two more days before going back up to $2.99 last Sunday?
That’s not very many, is it?
THE INN has had some pages read in Kindle Unlimited, and so have a couple of my other books, but none have inspired the readers to write reviews or sign up for my mailing list.
So I sit back and wonder: Does my writing suck? I don’t think it does. I’ve had compliments from other authors and from various folks who have read the stories. Maybe it’s not perfect, but I’ve got a pretty decent editorial eye, I think, and I can tell when something is just not quality. Even my own work.
I’m not talking about not liking an author’s word choices or the way they turn a phrase. I’m talking about bad writing. Boring writing. Unclear writing. Unfocused storytelling. I recognize those things in a lot of other books I try, and I don’t see them in my own stuff. Nor have others, or so I’m led to believe.
In any case, I’m wondering what I want to get out of this gig? I know that when I started, I had some delusions of grandeur. I thought that maybe, just maybe, I’d made a bunch of money from my books. Then reality hit (very soon) and I hoped I’d just make a few hundred dollars a month, maybe a grand. That would have been cool. Instead I’m making virtually nothing.
It’s a catch-22… If I don’t make money, I can’t spend money to market the books. If I don’t spend money to market the books, I don’t sell books and don’t make any money.
So maybe it’s time to give up on the serious writing dreams. On the “becoming successful” as an indie author and publisher. Maybe it’s time to just throw stuff out there and hope it sticks somewhere, and if it doesn’t, so what? If I’m writing anyway, what does it matter?
It takes time and effort to do even the minimal Facebook and GoodReads promotional posts I make. I just don’t know if it’s worth it.
Meanwhile, there are still stories to be told. So let me get back to it, and go tell some stories.